Oh look...another entry from today and this one is completely inane.
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6:35 AM- Time to puke
7 AM- Get yelled at because the dog chewed up papers that were left out on the floor.
8 AM- Dad will be home soon, everyone starts rushing around
8:25- Dad's home and not in a good mood.
9 AM- Dad is convinced someone has robbed him from his money.
10 AM- I'm not going to class
11 AM- I'm hungry...Sonic BLT's here I come
NOON- Dad's still yelling about his money and about the cops being here last night.
1 PM- I dont feel so good
2 PM- Dad finds his money.
3-4ish- Susu comes over
5 PM- Susu is upset
6 PM- I cant feel my ass as I sit in the park on the ground
7 PM- Where did my ass go?
8 PM- Rain, rain, go away...come again...oh hell, just stay...
9 PM- Uh huh...sure I'll go home soon....
10 PM- Really, I'm going home soon
11 PM- oh, hey...I'm home now
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I got my grades in my 3 classes yesterday. Math test was 77%...*cries*...Sociology, I got 2 F's on quizzes and now making a B in the class...*runs and cries*...History, I got a B+ on the test...*cries a river*
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I haven't went to Public Speaking all week. Don't know if I'm going next week. I dont have a topic even for my speech. Whoops, someone's doing bad in that class now...*whistles*
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I bled some more today. I freaked. I don't want to lose my baby and I'm not going to. :D It's gonna be alright...she's a fighter.
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I realized I keep calling A/A "she"...so that means it'll be a "he" to fool me or something...*shrug*
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It's either next month or May that I find the sex...I'm pretty sure it's later next month. (And I'm talking about the sex of the baby, you sick perverts.)
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I realized even more how much I hurt Josh. Damn, I'm a bitch. Then I realized that as long as I want him back, I'm not being fair. I'm not giving our friendship a real shot. Maybe I should just push the hope into the back of my mind and focus on being a friend...but I dunno.
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I hope Josh is feeling better. I worried all day. I don't like it when he's sick :(
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Uh...I was suppose to call Julie back like 2 hours ago or something...whoops...Sorry, honey...
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I'm going to quincy...I'm going to Quincy...I'm going to Quincy. I'm going to Quincy. Sorry, was like...happy or something. Yep, next weekend, not this weekend...but next weekend...I'm going to quincy and I'm gonna see Jedi (Julie), Snuggle Bunny (Kevin), Peanut (Resa, by the way...I just gave you a new nick name :D), and...hey, I'll see Crystal Lite (Crystal) and everyone else in Garner. Yay, it'll be fun. Oh, and I can see Luddy. Good ol' Luddy...I miss that boy. It's not the same when he doesn't fear my elite hacker skills :P *thinks back to senior year*
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I decided to go punk. That's right ladies and gents, good girl Roni is going punk. OH YEAH. Just...um...I'm not sure how long it's going to take...but hey, let the punkin' begin.
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I keep getting depressed. Oh, and I had lied to Sheryl. Yeah, I was going to do it..yeah, I hurt myself...but I didn't want to tell her. Just didnt wanna. But um, I feel bad for lying. I'm not a good liar.
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A/A...baby, I read you one of my favorite childhood books today. I don't even know if you have ears...*goes into thought*...but you know, you're going to know the Beatrix Potter stories so good that you'll think it's a punishment. Ok, fine, I'm not that mean...but...I love ya, baby.
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I don't think I've sit down yet and watched the whole extended Two Towers...Hmmm...someday I will...maybe...probably...
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You know, really I have no point to write about. It's just this...I screwed myself. Now when I'm depressed or suicidal or anything, I can't express it. I can't talk to anyone or write in my own fucking journal. I'm scared someone will call the cops again and I don't want that lecture again. So next time, I'll friggin just do it. And I just wanted to say that.
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Ok...ok...it's getting late and I still don't know if I have homework tomorrow. Guess I should look. Oh, I can't decide what to do about college. Maybe I should drop out for now...maybe I shouldnt. Maybe I should give up on my dreams...maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should move far, far away...or not...
Heck, I don't know.
I'm still confused about everything.