*** WARNING: IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, I'D FEEL BETTER IF YOU LEFT NOW AND DO NOT READ THIS. IT APPROACHES ISSUES NOT CHILD APPROPRIATE. ***
Dear Satan,
Thank you for the newly found unsatisfied sexual urges. Thank you for my new fascination in swingers. Thank you for the hottest sex of my life last night. I never knew couples room like that existed in places like the olde un, and I never knew how fun it could be to go to a strangers apartment. I never knew I could be so trick to trust or to fuck. It was hot and a fantasy come true.
~
Your Little Slut
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Dear God,
Did you read what I wrote to Satan? I dont know what my deal is lately. I feel bad that he got convicted so hard and freaked out. I feel bad that I dont feel guilty or feel like I sinned even though I know I did. I feel bad knowing that "he" is having a big mess now. Worse, why do I feel more sad that I may not get to sleep with him again....instead of feeling bad for sleeping with him in the first place? What is the deal? Am I so far from you that I dont even feel guilt...that I feel no regrets...that I just dont feel? Sometimes I dont know if I believe in you, sometimes I worry about that. Othertimes, I just dont care and I'm sorry. Bradley was right, I no longer care...about you, me, or anything or anyone. Now, thanks to me...a sweet guy is having a rough time and I feel bad for him hurting. But I still dont feel convicted and I still dont feel regret. What is wrong with me?
Please watch over "him" and help him out. He's a good, caring father and he's a great man. His faith is huge and he's hurting bad. Please dont let him keep beating himself up. Please let him know he is forgiven.
He may be a stranger, but I care. I dont want him hurt and I dont want him to hate me. I trust him and I know all of his trust is in you.
When he dug out his Bible, when he prayed, I felt bad and couldnt tell him how I've slipped from you. I didnt want him to hate me even more. I couldnt tell him how foolish I felt when he said how we were brother and sister in Christ. I couldnt tell him how I'm sorry for seducing him, even if he was the one that initiated things.
I guess I'm asking for you to help me believe in you again and help me lead this man to know that things are ok again. I've started down an interesting path full of sex, lies, and deceit. I cant say I dont enjoy it, for my flesh is weak.
I'm asking for your help...more fo this man than for me....comfort him and hold him close. He needs you. I guess I do, too.
Love,
A Fallen One
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To This Man,
I'm sorry you're hurting. It wasnt suppose to be that way. I am a stranger but in a different way. I'm still your friend and I do care, I'm here for anything you need. Let me be your shoulder, for it was me that helped you feel so bad.
I wont lie though, it was damned good sex but you and I both know the devil had a role. I'm glad it was you though. No, I dont like making you feel bad or worse, but I'm glad it wasnt some insensitive man. Even more so, I'm glad it was me and not some woman that would have laughed at you or made you feel bad for your conviction.
You and I....we have a special tie. I wont ever reveal who you are and I know you wont me. Your secret is safe, but I had to write this here to think it through. No one knows your identity, and I wont mess that up. Thing swill look up and be ok. Your child is lucky to have such a great man as a father.
I'm here for you and you can trust me. I'm sorry I dont feel convicted yet, but I did pray for you as you asked.
Pray for me always as I pray for you.
Always,
Your Little Secret
PS: Dont forget me, I'll always remember you :)