I just got home not that long ago from being out with a frat guy from MU.
It made me realize that I miss frat guys but at the same time, realized that wow...they are so blunt and geared towards sex! I mean really, this guy was like 28 and that still was all he seemed to be...the typical frat guy. Oh well, he's not who I wanted to really see tonight anyway.
He is sweet though and I wont mind seeing him again, if he doesnt try so hard.
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The whole swinger fear thing is over. I'm not going. Why? Well let's just say complications with money.
I was really sad thinking that ruined Jay wanted to be with me, but he says it's no big deal and that we have other weekends and that he still wants to see me. *crosses fingers* oh please let that be true. I really want to see him. He seems so sweet and I really want to get to know him.
I'm glad he agreed our first time meeting shouldnt be like that... I mean, the obligation for sex was so scary yet, a weird turn on.
I dont mind checking out the swinger thing...hell I might go to a party sometime, just, I really want to see Jay right now.
I want to meet Dean and his wife, they seem really sweet and Dean reminds me so much of James. Yet, I had the chance to go with them tonight...to KC for the swinger stuff. I had to turn them down though, I just couldnt do it. I would rather sit her and hope to meet Jay...than go out with his best friend. I dont know why, I just really want to know Jay.
No, it's not a crush...it's just, he's alright and I like him.
Jay, you dont know about this journal...or at least I hope you dont, but if you do...know this, I'm sorry it didnt work out for you to go to this weekend. I know you wanted to. But I really hope you dont be like Alden or Hank and disappear now.
You promised you're different and want to stick around ....and I trust you. I may not trust you with 100s of dollars, but I do trust you with this :)
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Anyway, I got a cute outfit today. I got a pink top and a new sexy bra and panties... to go with my skirt. Why? Because it was an excuse for jewelry and a purse :D haha, no not really, just I eventually WILL have a date...I think...
I dont know...my luck really sucks lately.
*sighs*
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Dear Journal,
Please let my life remain this complicated and confusing so I can continue giving my friends, like Bryan, a headache and so I can continue to lose sleep and feel sick in the stomach.
Oh yes, I insist that you please let new challenges like swingers and wangers be thrown my way.
I insist that guys keep not calling me back and standing me up and I insist that I keep meeting guys online that just want in my pants.
But I request this... LIGHTEN UP! I'm going nuts over here. And please let me actually at least get to know Jay as a good friend.
Oh and the Jay in my CAD class...can I have him too? :P
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Welp I better go find something to do besides entertain Bob with a journal entry....