*poke* Susu, this is Roro speaking...can you hear me? come in...I think we need marriage counseling...

I'm sorry you felt like I left you behind. I didn't mean to cancel and you know this. You should know, you're my best friend and I would never deliberately hurt you.

I know you're afraid you're losing me. But you're not. Yes, we had broken promises when I went to Quincy. I know I never saw you and I'm sorry. We got where we didn't even talk online or the phone and it killed me. But you were always my best friend. Gosh, you were even the first I called when I lost my virginity..hehe. Girlie, I love you and I'd never leave you for good.

I don't want to feel like you're a reason for me to stay. I don't want to be sad for leaving...it's hard enough the way it is. But you only tighten the reigns when it's time for me to leave. You never pull on my leash any other time.

Now as for that poem...when did you start reading poetry? It's rather good, isn't it? But I'm not walking away from you. No matter where I go or what I do, you'll always be there and you'll always be with me.

Yes, boyfriends come and boyfriends go...best friends are forever. Warren does mean a lot to me and yes, he's a best friend...but you were first. Don't be jealous or upset of him. He's not stealing me from you. He has a different part of me.

And you've only loved me since 8th grade? Heh...I thought it's been longer...but I guess, I do always leave, don't I?

I left in 8th grade...

I left for Quincy...

Now, I'm leaving for UMR...

But sarah, you're still there...you're still my best friend. You always will be. We will always be D1 and D2. Life wouldn't be the same without everyone's favorite muslim chick and wheelchair queen combo.

And wow, you keep up with how long I've been with Warren? I had to look at the calender myself...heh...

I love you, that will never change. I am not trying to hurt you and I'm not trying to leave you behind. I know you hurt when I hurt...think about it, you wanted to become a cutter because I was one even.

Warren's not like Josh. I promise you this. But if it makes you feel better, if he hurts me, I'll castrate him for the both of us.

Susu, I don't know how to fix everything. This isn't something that just you and I can glue. We do need help or something. Mr. Humpty Dumpty is beginning to fall too many times.

So what do you want to do?