JOURNAL IS UNLOCKED AGAIN FOR NOW BUT DON'T LOSE YOUR PASSWORD, JUST IN CASE!

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I got a condom sample in the mail...now what the fuck do I do with that?

I wanted to puke or run when I saw it.

Man, did it sting...I haven't seen one of those in a little while.

To tell you the truth, I don't know where to put it. I don't want to throw it away, the kids could find it. I don't want to burn it...ACK. Anyone want it?

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I'm not spotting as much. DC is convinced I'm doing it b/c of my stress level. I don't know.

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Damn it, I hate me for some of the shit I do. I'm trying not to cut though. I'm trying.

You know, it's not that I wanted to necessarily show ppl. It's not that I necessarily wanted attention...but I feel like I needed help. But out of the ppl that saw, they all had this sadness to them...except for one. He had this...this fear about him. Like, I don't know. It was a deep look. I've never seen a look quite like that in his eyes. I don't want to ask him though. He said he wanted me to quit and that it was stupid, but you know, I'm changing so much and trying so hard for him, that I don't know if I want to change this, too.

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I didn't realize how many cuts I truly have, until I looked in the mirror.

My legs, my arms, my shoulders....my chest. Damn. I'm letting it take over, aint I?

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Prom is in a couple hours. Do I really want to go through with this? Damn, but hey, I promised. I need to stick to my word.

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I'm setting new goals. I have one in mind...it's just...not sure how to go about it.

I'm making a complete transformation.

I'm going to leave this Roni and become who I'm wanting to become.

It's going to be hard and I'm not sure where to start.

Josh said he won't give on me though, so I know maybe I *CAN* do this.