"Hurry up and kill yourself so Joe can comfort me."

"Roni, is it worth it?"

"He lied...he so lied."

"All you have to worry about is your baby."

"Roni, you can't let him get to you."

"Roni...why?"

"Don't even say that."

"I just...no."

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Yeah, all those quotes were all based on a decision I made today.

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If my baby dies...I have a 90% chance of dying if it does because the infection from the miscarriage can spread to my heart.

Not only that...my blood test results came in.

I have early signs of ovarian cancer and definitely have the early stage of PCOS.

If this baby dies, I may not have the chance to ever have another one. I could become infertile.

So this could be my one chance.

And ...it is my only chance.

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Julie & Kevin,

I meant it. I so meant what I said. If it goes, I go. You two care and I appreciate it, but you can't talk me out of this. So I may not get to actually see you guys face to face again...it just depends on when it goes. If it goes...then I have to go, too.