I may even get into the habit of writing in this again.

I'm mad at my W.E. Lover. Don't ask. I got exactly what I wanted...but now, I've learned I never wanted it.

Also, things are complex in my life now. The only thing simple is my new clothing style.

Sarah seems to be depressed more.

Elliott seems more attractive.

Skater Boys like Jacob and Ryan scare me and I think they are boneheads.

Amy scares me.

Faucett likes me and is funked up enough to think I actually like him even though he's a pip squeak that I don't even want to really befriend him even.

Life changed.

People moved on.

I feel...left out.

I'm confused.

G'night

WAIT!

Back to the wanted and then got.

Look, Josh I think things are good. They are...except for the fact we're now going to be farther apart and that sometimes you really piss me off. Talking dirty can be all fine and dandy and I may like it sometimes, but frankly, sometimes...it scares me. I guess it's just the thought that certain words came out of your mouth. Also, I know I told you I wouldn't compare you to other people, but I must. I hope you don't read this, I really do, but then again, it might be good if you do. You get this look sometimes. The lustful look. It reminds me of Elisha. It makes my blood curl and I want to run. When you have THAT look is when dirty talk isn't fun. I know you're sorry if you were to know, but you can't. I know you'd just be upset and apologize a million times. It's NOT your fault that I don't tell you. It's a communication error on my part. Also, when you want to touch certain areas of me and I wont go into details...and I say ANYTHING..you shush me and just say "shhhhhhhh". You know what if I wanted to say "Josh, it hurts" or "Josh, not now" or "I'm not in the mood"? Well, you know what happens? You shush me and then if I act upset, you don't understand and I AM the bad guy then. You know this isn't worth writing about. Yep, I got what I wanted. I wanted things more heated.

Yep, I did...but now, I don't.

But, I'll never tell you.

Never.

Ok,

maybe next time I see you.

Fine,

next week.

OKAY, Okay...

tomorrow.

(Note: Author tends to change her mind a lot)

(Second Note: No she doesn't)