Well�we have many topics today kiddies�so gather around. Here�s a run down for you: David, Becky, Research, My decision, and my life.
Here we go�here, here we go�
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David,
I�m not mad at you. It did shock me though. I mean, you sleep with a girl who you know slept around with a bunch of guys�then you get rough and break the condom and you�re mad at her? Whoa, sweetie�calm down. First off, it took two�yes, TWO to have sex. Even if you weren�t in a relationship�the point is, this is YOUR baby. Personally, I think it�s wrong to sleep with someone like you did anyway. I mean, you call her a slut, but what does that make you? Look at all the girls you sleep with.
You say you hate her and that she�s a bitch for cheating on you�but you said yourself that all she was �was a girl you picked up at a party. You knew her and lusted after her but didn�t even want to talk to her again. You said you only liked her when you were having sex. Now, what does that say about you?
I�m glad you came to me, I am. I�m glad you�re talking to people and trying to express your feelings�but you�re wrong for what you�re doing. If you didn�t want her in your life, I�m sorry but you shouldn�t have slept with her. You said you felt it bust, but you hadn�t came yet and finished until you did. So that�s not her fault. That one was you. You said she wanted you to stop but you didn�t. That one was you. You can�t be mad at her for being pregnant when it took two to make that baby.
Now, I suggest you figure out if you want in that baby�s life or not. I�m not saying move in with her�you were right, that�s not the way to go about it. But, be responsible, man. Don�t you know she�s scared to death? She�s depressed and alone. She�s miserable and all you can do is call her a slut and say you�re not �with her�.
What happened to Mr. So-Islamic? Your attitude is not Islamic, buddy. And don�t even try to say you�re converting to Baptist. I heard you tell Annisa that. I AM Baptist and that�s not a Baptist attitude either.
When you heard I was pregnant, you cried because you liked me. You didn�t care because of the baby�s sake or mine�you cared b/c you knew I�d never give it to you. Guess what? I wouldn�t have anyway! You kept telling me to pray and talk to Josh�but look at you. You�re not even talking to your baby�s momma! And yes, you can tell me to pray and I have�and you�ve prayed, or so you�ve said�but trust me, that�s not easy to just forget.
There is a life growing in her. A LIFE that�s part of YOU. Forever you and that girl have a connection. You can never truly be out of her life b/c you will always know you had this baby. Don�t you dare keep trying to talk her into abortion. Don�t you dare. That�s not the answer. Murder is NOT the solution. Next time, you better think. If you don�t want to be with a girl forever, don�t sleep with her. As easy as that. And what do you mean you�re moving in with a new girl? Boy, you�re going to be a daddy and you�re already shackin with another woman? What the fuck is wrong with you?
I don�t care if you�re not with the momma�I don�t care if you never loved her. I don�t care if you call her a slut. She is the mother of YOUR child. She needs YOU. She needs YOUR support. The first trimester is especially hard on the mother. She�s depressed�she�s scared�.she needs nurturing and what are you doing? You�re running and hitting it with another woman. I can�t believe you, David.
No, I�m not mad. I am disappointed in you though. I�m shocked you could be such a bastard. Get this new woman you�re shackin with out of your life�move back into your own apartment�and get involved with the baby�s momma. Talk to her�call her�see her. Hell, let her move in if you have to. BE with her. You don�t have to date her�you don�t have to love her�but be there. She needs you now more than ever. And if you can�t do that, you�re not a man. You�re not. You�re just a pig that had wild sex and ran away when you had to face up to your choices. Now, be the guy I know you are, David. I know you can. You know you can always keep talking to me. I�m here for you. But, David�think about it. Grow up. Stop being so proud. BE with the momma. BE a man. Raise your baby. Give it the childhood you didn�t have. Be the daddy like your daddy wasn�t. I know your daddy was never there and your momma raised you alone�..but David, don�t be like �I cant� or �I�m scared��SHOW us you can do better. BE THE MAN.
~Roni
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Becky is a bitch. She still wants to kick my arse and she�s still making mom and dad feel guilty for letting me be here.
I�d say I�m not scared of her�but she fights dirty and she�s liable to hurt my baby.
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Research---I was looking up more information about expectant fathers and first time mothers. Apparently, I�m normal. *GASP* It�s considered �normal� for a first time mother to be depressed and stressed. Most my fears and even my suicidal thoughts are considered pretty normal. They say it�s because of the changing hormones and all the new changes in ones life. The first trimester is the worst and they generally push the father away during this time. Unfortunately, that�s when they need the man the most. They need that nurturing. So�guess I�m not totally psycho. :D
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I have made my decision about the baby. It was hard. I know I made the right choice though�or at least I pray I did.
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I�m stressed and depressed. David is going through a rough time and I can�t even really help him. My term paper is due tomorrow and I STILL don�t have enough sources. I also have an essay due tomorrow and no fucking clue what to write on it. My life is a constant struggle now. It�s a mess. I�m sick and I�m sore. My b00bz3rz hurt. I also feel like I don�t really have anyone to talk to about everything. So�in a way, I�m alone and it hurts.
I�m still scared and I hope this decision is the right one.