I'm in pain.
I've been sorta hurting...almost like a cramp. I don't think it's a good sign.
It worries me.
Please, don't take my baby, God.
Please?
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I had a long talk with David today.
It went interesting.
He claims that he is going to come over later...heh...well see about THAT.
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Things aren't going so great with Brandon.
He wants me to pick HIM over the baby.
Can you believe it?
Man, he's such a jerk about this.
Maybe I shouldn't even consider dating.
It just leads to heartache.
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I had a fight with Dad today. Out of the blue he goes "You were just a conquest, weren't you? Josh just wanted to get some pussy and once he did, he left you."...I tried telling Dad it wasn't like that and he knows nothing about me or Josh...but that just made him threaten to hit me.
I don't like it when he threatens me.
Especially when he raises his arm to do it.
If I hadn't have moved, he probably would have gotten me.
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I have an OB appointment on the 22nd and no one wants to take me. Mom and Dad both keep saying no. This is fucking important. It's for my child. I HAVE to go. I just don't know how I'm going to get there.
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It stings about Brandon.
It also sucks that I can't find ANYBODY.
It's like everyone vanished and left me here.
I'm trying to be positive though.
I am trying...and not just for the baby.
I'm trying for me.
Man, I'm just so scared about my decision. I need to talk to someone about it but who will care?
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Only Hope ~Mandy Moore
There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to be over and over and over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray
To be only yours I know now...
You're my only hope
Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray
To be only yours I know now...
You're my only hope
I give you my destiny
I'm givin' you all of me
I want your symphony singing in all that I am
At the top of lungs
I'm givin' it back
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray
To be only yours, I pray
To be only yours I know now...
You're my only hope
OoooOoo
Mmmm
Ooooooo