Chocolate Milk and Hot Fries...what a great combination.
I would live off of that if I could.
Meat isn't too appealing right now.
Pasta and veggies...yum lately.
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I'm still suppose to be bedridden...but I wanted to show you I was still alive.
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I just reread yesterday's post. You know, at the time, it made sense...now it's like "huh?" so I don't know if I made sense then or if I'm confused now. Do you follow?
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I made it all day (so far) without feeling alone. Yes, Josh crosses my mind often. He's the reason I don't feel alone. I can feel his support. I think the baby can, too.
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I'd like to say a special "thank you" to everyone that called me today. It's a big cheer up considering I was suppose to just lay there.
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I have thought about a lot of stuff lately. I'm not the greatest person...I've made mistakes and hurt others. Bro. Mark reminded me though...if we were perfect, we wouldn't have needed Jesus.
I'm going to church again. I started back a few weeks ago. I'm going to get back to where I should be.
My hormones and moods aren't the only changes I need to make. I'm going to be a stronger person. I'm going to be more positive and a better friend. I will be an excellent mother and you will never believe how much I'm about to change.
I'm glad you're there to greet me into the adult world, Josh. It'd be scarier if you weren't. Thanks for not making me do this alone.
I'm thinking of teaching sunday school. Yeah, some of you might think I'm not quite in the best position to be doing that...but you know, I feel I'm being led.
I'm tired of running from God.
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God, I'm sorry. I broke promises to you, I lied, and I tried to cover it up. You know all I did. I know I have your promise of forgiveness and right now, I really need that. I'm not going to have sex again before marriage...you can count on that. I'm sorry for being the way I was to Josh. Please bless him and help him stay strong. Please watch over me and our baby. Please keep it safe. Let it live a long life, if that's in your will. I'm turning things over to you. My life and our baby's life is in your hands. I knew I couldn't run, but I tried anyway. I will do whatever it takes, even if it's a public testimony. I love you and I'm so sorry for everything. I'm not going to worry much more about me and Josh, either. Only you know what the future holds and you know what is best. Please help me to be strong and help me to carry out your will. There's so many more things I should say...more things I should feel...and you know that. You know everything. I'm trying my best to decode my feelings and you know I'm very confused right now. Please let me figure it out as you wish. Thank you for keeping me as your child. Thank you for sending your son to die for all...even me. I'm in a lot of pain and my confused state doesn't help. Please heal my neck and heal me spiritually and wash me with your grace. Thank you for hearing me and for the promise that you always will. Thank you for loving and forgiving me.
In Jesus's Name I Pray,
AMEN