I'm breaking the rules.

I'm bedridden but this is the 2nd time I got up anyway. Heh...that is, not counting bathroom visits.

I got up earlier to check my email to find a very friendly one.

Now, I'm up because I just had to post.

Apparently when you're pregnant, your body releases a natural relaxing chemical. It takes all 9 months to get enough for your pelvis bone to open up enough for labor. In the meantime, it relaxes other muscles as it goes...some more than others. It relaxed my neck and I didn't know...*SNAP*. It couldn't hold my head up when I turned it this morning. So, 6AM- Morning Sickness

7AM-Hospital Trip

They couldn't put me on the normal medications since I'm pregnant. All they could do is Tylenol 3. Don't worry, they called my OB/GYN first to confirm I was pregnant, how far along, and what they could give me. I'm bedridden and don't know if I can go to school next week.

I shouldn't be up writing this, but I thought some of you would wonder what happened. I know I had plans today to see some of you. Sorry Julie, Kevin, Resa, and Ryan. But Rodney might drive me another time. The point is, it's probably best I don't travel that far right now anyway.

I'm still not out of the woods for a miscarriage, but I'm making some decisions.

I think I've decided a name. I know it's soon and it just feels like a little lump, but I gotta think ahead :D

I was thinking of Annastrianna Abigail if it's a girl and Alexander Joshua if it's a boy. I'm gonna run these by Josh soon. It's his baby, too...he gets a say :D

I feel better about the whole Josh thing and I'm sorry if I've made him sound bad lately. I'm highly emotional...but that's no excuse. I was so busy thinking about me that I never realized HE has been in the real world. He has been there and he knows how scary it is. He's more mature than I give him credit. He's a greater guy than I sometimes make him sound (no wonder he's the love of my life :D)

I never thought that maybe, just maybe he was scared of all this too and that he's thought about it. I thought if he thought about it, then he'd show it.

But he has and I was too proud to see it. I'm sorry, Josh. I'm glad we're friends and I do think it's best we're apart right now. I still love you but I want what's best for my baby and you. I have to think of me, too...but I'm going to put our baby first.

Thanks for being my friend. I couldn't do this without you. Today I felt how much you care and how much you are there for me. I don't feel so alone. Actually, I'm not alone. You're scared, you're confused, you're there for me, too. WE can make it. No, I'm not wanting to date, so don't think I mean that...but we as in friends and as in the best parents this child could ever hope for.

You'll be a great Daddy. And I promise we won't let this child down.

Please get a hold of me next week because I'm going to try to stick to the bedridden directions.

I don't want to hurt our baby.

Baby, I love you and your Daddy does, too. We're both here for you. You will be a happy child and have a great life. No matter what, you will never let us down and we will always love you.

Josh, I love you, too. Maybe I was falling out of love too, I was just too proud to admit it. I will never love you less and I think you still love me. I think we just aren't "in love"...but we still have love. Know what I mean?

Corey, thank you for trying to be strong and support me. It's not your responsibility but it does show how much you've changed. You're a good friend.

Susu, thank you for driving me to ER today. You're an excellent friend.

QU Buds- I miss ya'll.

Luddy, thank you for your support too...and sorry I forgot to call you :S

Wendy, this is why I haven't responded to your email. I know you'll understand.

My neck hurts. I don't know what it's going to be like puking in the morning with my neck. Ugh. But I'm in too much pain to keep typing. I have to go. Off to bed I go....me and our baby.

Thank you again, Josh.