Here's an overview of some of the things Lisa and I talked about and/or decided:
Mom ~Worries too much; blames herself too much; isnt the best for advice
Dad ~Caused my male insecurities; is a bad advice giver; made me have some horrible qualities
Cassie ~wasnt as good as I thought
Becky ~Never accepted me; set bad examples
The Kids~ annoy me b/c they stole my mom
7-10 ~I blocked these ages due to depression
My illness~ I'm coping with it a lot better than most would.
Josh~ she thinks we had true love; I will always love him; I want to really be with him; he's my "one"
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My insecurities that Dad caused help push Josh when I need him.
We're opposite.
He needs his space.
I need him close.
I'll let him breathe if I can have him back.
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Josh, I'm willing to stop being so "motherish" and stop smothering you. I'm willing to change if you're willing to try to. For now, I'm going to give you your space...but baby, I love you.
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I'll post more later...