It started with me in the front office at school. I was there to get a transcript or something. It was a year or two from now. I could tell by how things looked. I was pregnant and about to pop. Soon, my water broke. I started to cry because I could feel the contractions. I couldn�t get anyone to take me to a hospital and I had to go to Columbia because that�s where my GYN was (See, with my heart problem I have to go to a special GYN when I get pregnant. It�s a high risk specialist and is trained in patients who have heart disorders and such because the pregnancy and child birth would be different. It�d be harder on me). Well, the office refused to get me to the hospital because I was �not a student�. I was crying and crying and in sooooo much pain and I was scared because all of a sudden the baby stopped kicking and moving. I cried because I didn�t know what to do. Some little catholic girls and other �good� girls were just telling me to shut up. Michelle Koehly said, �It�s your own fault. You shouldn�t have had sex before you got married. You�re bad. You and your baby are going to hell.� About that time I saw a lot of people and teachers I knew. Most of them just snubbed me. Mrs. Vessels just said she was disappointed that I �threw away� my future for some guy�s pleasure. So, in the midst of being upset, I grabbed Mr. Hunt and begged him to help me. He winked and said �not while we�re at school.� Then Mrs. Stanley started saying I wanted to have an affair with Mr. Hunt. About that time, Mrs. Hollenbeck came in. Ah, I love that woman. She left there and drove me to Columbia. (I�m not sure if she got fired for leaving or not�but she said a new life was more important than her job). In the car, I called my parents on her cell phone. Why didn�t I call them before? Because I was in so much pain, that it hadn�t crossed my mind. They said to call Josh. He was at work in Quincy (where, I�m not sure). He rushed out to come see me. So did his parents. I was at the hospital. I started having more contractions and screaming with pain. They said the baby was ready NOW and I didn�t have time for pain medicine. They tried to get me to sit still, but I couldn�t. I was squirming, kicking, and saying I wasn�t ready. I said I wanted to wait for Josh and my parents. Finally, just in the brink of time�they all showed up. Josh came in and hugged me and said he was sooo sorry for not being there sooner and that he was even sorrier he let me come alone. Then, labor got bad. I cried and asked if he was ready to be a dad. He smiled, kissed me, and said, �I love you, Roni Ann. You�re strong. We�ll get through this. We�ll be great parents and there�s no one I�d rather share a baby with.� About that time, I was told to push. I did. It seemed like forever. I could feel it. I could feel myself ripping to fit the baby. I could feel the pressure. Josh just kept holding me and comforting me. I kept thinking that I was stupid and scared because I didn�t know if I was ready to be a mom. Finally, she came. A bright-eyed, beautiful girl. I loved her before she was born. She was so tiny�so beautiful (she had Josh�s cute little nose and gorgeous grey eyes). Josh held her and said, �A little bit of me and a little bit of Roni Ann. Our baby, I love you and will never leave you. I love you and your mommy so much. You�re what our love made.� I just cried. I was so happy and overwhelmed. I kissed Josh. He sat on the bed, wrapped his arms around me and I held our baby. It was great.

It was one of those dreams you REALLY feel. I could feel it. I woke up around 3 in the morning. My face was covered in tears. I felt sick to the stomach. It all felt so real. Josh agreed it was freaky. You know in a strange kind of way, I feel like it was trying to tell me something. What? I do not know. Is it saying I�m ready for sex? Not ready for sex? Is that even the issue? Is it saying Josh will be with me no matter what? Is it saying Josh is the one? What�s it mean? I don�t know. I really don�t know. I do know that it was soooo real. Almost too real for comfort.