Dr. Fitzzy: Hello Roni. How have you been?

Roni: ok

Dr. Fitzzy: Why are you here today?

Roni: I wanted to be.

Dr. Fitzzy: What would you like to talk about?

Roni: Everything.

Dr. Fitzzy: That�s a lot. Why don�t you pick a topic and we�ll discuss it.

Roni: ok�hmm

Dr. Fitzzy: Why don�t we start with what is bothering you.

Roni: sure

Dr. Fitzzy: Ok, now what�s bothering you?

Roni: I don�t know

Dr. Fitzzy: Well, I can�t help you dearie if you don�t know what the problem is.

Roni: That�s the problem.

Dr. Fitzzy: What is?

Roni: The problem is that I have a problem and I�m not sure what it is.

Dr. Fitzzy: I see. Well, did you fix your guy problem?

Roni: Boys suck

Dr. Fitzzy: Why�s that?

Roni: It�s in their jeans.

Dr. Fitzzy: In their genes?

Roni: NO, JEANS!

Dr. Fitzzy: What is?

Roni: the reason they suck

Dr. Fitzzy: I�m sorry but I don�t understand.

Roni: Of course you wouldn�t! It�s not like you have a real life.

Dr. Fitzzy: Was that really called for?

Roni: yes

Dr. Fitzzy: Why don�t you tell me all the reasons that you think �boys suck�?

Roni: ok�first off, they play mind games.

Dr. Fitzzy: Mind games?

Roni: Yes, see�one day they don�t like you�then they do�then they don�t�then they toy with you to see how you feel�and they don�t believe you.

Dr. Fitzzy: I understand.

Roni: They also throw �curve balls�.

Dr. Fitzzy: What is a curve ball?

Roni: That is where they do something unexpected to keep you on your toes and then use that to their advantage. Like, one day�they are sweet and you love to be with them�.then the next day, they act like they are someone different and don�t like talking to you, and once they see you really care, then they act sweet again.

Dr. Fitzzy: oh

Roni: They also only think about sex.

Dr. Fitzzy: Many people do.

Roni: not as much as guys�they can take a simple topic and pervert it.

Dr. Fitzzy: is that all?

Roni: NO

Dr. Fitzzy: then continue

Roni: They whine, they throw fits, they cheat, they�

*Dr. Fitzzy interrupts*

Dr. Fitzzy: slow down, are you describing a baby, or guys?

Roni: now that you mention it�aren�t they the same?

Dr. Fitzzy: I take it that a guy hurt your feelings?

Roni: A?

Dr. Fitzzy: more than one?

Roni: yep�see, once one does�there tends to be a chain reaction.

Dr. Fitzzy: Care to sum it up?

Roni: sure�do you have a few hours?

Dr. Fitzzy: Give me the shortest possible version.

Roni: shortest? hmm�.Boys Suck!

Dr. Fitzzy: Roni, you knew what I meant!

Roni: Fine then�see, a guy is ignoring me because he�s ashamed that he feels I�m �not pretty enough� for him to be seen with. He likes super models, and if you aren�t one, don�t be seen with him.

Dr. Fitzzy: He�s just egotistical and not worth your trouble.

Roni: Then, a guy that has liked me since kindergarten is now my neighbor. That wouldn�t be so bad if he didn�t come by a lot and say �hey, nothing good is on the t.v., wanna make out?��and I never knew he was a live until recently! We never clicked and he doesn�t get it.

Dr. Fitzzy: well�*I interrupt*

Roni: Then�a guy that I use to like and gave up on asked me out.

Dr. Fitzzy: we..*I interrupt*

Roni: I think some of my guy friends are ignoring me.

Dr. Fitzzy: w..*I interrupt*

Roni: Overall�all guys are either jackasses or taken.

Dr. Fitzzy: can I talk now?

Roni: sure, for now�

Dr. Fitzzy: the new neighbor, you probably really never clicked because you were too good for him, after all�you said that you didn�t know he was a live until recently

Roni: It�s not that I�m stuck up. I�ll admit I was years ago. He and I never talked because we have NOTHING in common.

Dr. Fitzzy: denial?

Roni: you betcha!

Dr. Fitzzy: you were asked out�why aren�t you happy?

Roni: He�s jealous and sooo untrusting. It would never work.

Dr. Fitzzy: then don�t date him

Roni: I�m not going to.

Dr. Fitzzy: Why are guys ignoring you?

Roni: I guess because I tend to talk a lot�so I�m annoying.

Dr. Fitzzy: I talk a lot too.

Roni: Yeah, and you�re alone and unhappy.

Dr. Fitzzy: That really isn�t your business.

Roni: Yes, it is. How can you help me with guys when you don�t know? Are you a lesbian?

Dr. Fitzzy: I�m not a lesbian. I�m just�*I interrupt*

Roni: Ok, you just have bad luck with guys.

Dr. Fitzzy: yeah

Roni: I�m getting advice from a fellow �boys suck conspiracy� member?

Dr. Fitzzy: Let�s move on.

Roni: We will be coming back to that someday.

Dr. Fitzzy: They are all either jackasses or taken?

Roni: yes, all the sweet ones have girlfriends!

Dr. Fitzzy: all of the sweet ones?

Roni: well�only the ones that I�d ever have a chance with!

Dr. Fitzzy: have you tried talking to a guy friend about this?

Roni: I was going to� but he didn�t give a damn.

Dr. Fitzzy: then try another.

Roni: can�t. They are avoiding me. They don�t admit it, but they are.

Dr. Fitzzy: I hate to say this, but are session is over.

Roni: ok

Dr. Fitzzy: write it down and bring it back if you want to discuss more.

Roni: Already do. I�m writing this down right now.

Dr. Fitzzy: you are?

Roni: yes

Dr. Fitzzy: I see no paper.

Roni: you also aren�t a real doctor!

Dr. Fitzzy: oh

Roni: Your real name isn�t Victoria P. Fitzgerald either

Dr. Fitzzy: then what is it?

Roni: Bertha

Bertha: oh?

Roni: yeah

Bertha: bye

Roni: bye Bertha!