Dear Roni,

Hi! This is Roni. I know you are hurting and confused, so I thought I'd step in and try to help. So you say you don't know what you're confused about? Wow, when did you become a chronic liar? You know what is wrong and deep down, you've always known. You're just too selfish to say it. You're afraid to put it out there. You're afraid of what will be said or thought of you. Well guess what? I don't really give a damn. You need to get over this. You need to move on? So, want me to say your problem? OH, you don't? Too bad. You're problem is you don't know how to cope. Cope with what? Corey. He's beginning to enter your life again and you don't know how to handle it. He was your first boyfriend, he was your first love, and he was your first heartache. You never admitted it, but you loved him ever since you were four. And it didn't dawn on you until the night before he went back to military school (from Easter break). That may have been about 2 years ago, but you keep replaying it in your head, don't you? You keep thinking about it. Don't act stupid. You know damn well what happened. You went there and stood outside his house in the pouring rain for about an hour, just crying. Then he looked out his window and saw you. He opened his door and came running to you. He grabbed you and held you so tight that you felt like your hearts became one. You wanted to tell him how you had always felt and how he had broken your heart. You wanted to tell him how just knowing he was there made the world melt away around you. But you didn't say a word. You didn't have to. He knew. He had known all along. He held you in his arms. He kissed your forehead. Then he started to cry! You looked at him and he smiled as a tear started to run down his cheek. You were hoping it was just the rain running down his face, but you and he both knew it was a tear. He said he loved you and for the first time, you felt it was sincere. But did you say "I love you too?"...NO. You didnt say a damn word. There he was, holding you and confessing his love and all you could think of was how that same week he had broken your heart. Then he said the words that still haunt you. He said, "Roni Ann, I know you love me. You always have. I know I hurt you. I'm sorry. I don't want you to say you love me. I'm not ready for you to say it. I want you to wait a few years. I want you to think about it. Think with your heart for once and not your brain. If we aren't meant to me, then I pray that you'll never think about this night much again. But, Roni, if it's meant to be, I hope it haunts you. I hope you replay this night over and over. And when it rains, think of me. For each drop of rain that falls is a symbol of our undying love. I know we will part within the next year our so because that is the way it has been going. I want a chance with Donnell and I want you to have a chance with other guys. But in a few years, when our love dawns on you ...and I know it will....think of this. Think of this moment. And when you start to cry, think of my tears. Then when it rains, come back to me. Come over again. Tell me you love me. But wait until then." And sure enough, the words replay over and over. You still see his eyes, you still feel his arms around you, you still see his tears, and you still feel his heart. Now he's slowly entering the picture again. You're going to have to decide. Do you love him? Will you tell him? Roni, don't dwell on it too long or you will lose him forever.

Bye,

Roni