Apparently people on facebook actually look at your partner's profile. Heaven forbid they notice the partner has an interest in gays/bisexuals. I didn't think this was a secret anyway.

So then they decide to ask you weird questions...

"how is he dating you if he's bi? how do you know he isn't secretly wanting to date a guy?"

~apparently people also don't understand that I TRUST my boyfriend
~they also don't understand that my relationship is none of their business
~they also don't understand that I meant it when I said "fuck off"...is it so shocking that *I* said it?

so...they were trying to say ALL bisexuals are non-monogamous...and that just bugs me...I hate stereotyping

Anyway here's a rather interesting way of explaining why you're a bonehead if you think that

You can go here to read it: http://world.std.com/~khvastun/fence/010monogamy.html but you don't need to because I'm pasting the entire thing here so you can't say "I'll click the link later"

Here we go:

"Bisexual Monogamy"
If polyamorous bisexuals face a perception that they shouldn't exist, monogamous bisexuals face a perception that they CAN'T. If they choose one partner, can they be still be bisexual? Aren't they gay or straight? And if, after choosing, they persist in identifying as bi, aren't they really saying they're unsure of their commitment? Or haven't they given up a whole "side" of themselves? Won't they long for a relationship with another gender? Can they ever be happy? Will they ever be trustable?

Similar questions could be asked about other people, of course. For example: is a lesbian without a girlfriend not a lesbian? Or: since "straight woman" means "a woman attracted to men," can straight women ever be happy in monogamous relationships, since they give up "men" for one man?

These ARE serious questions. The first asks: "does the gender of a person's partner completely define that person's sexual identity?" If we answer yes, then it makes sense to categorize people who have no partner separately. No partner, no sexuality, or merely a latent one. But this flies in the face of common sense. A gay man between boyfriends is still gay. Queer youth can know they're not straight long before having sex. Single straights are still heterosexual. Clearly, one's identity does not vanish when one's partner does.

Nor does a partner's presence tell the whole story, or we couldn't believe gay men, previously in heterosexual marriages, who claim they were really gay all along. We couldn't even believe they were "gay but in denial." We'd have to see them as ex-straights who changed their minds, or bisexuals flipping from one half-truth to another. Since we don't believe this, we must assume that identity has an internal, durable dimension, even if external circumstances influence appearances.

With that in mind, we can better understand bisexual monogamy. It is simply an internal, durable identity not erased by the presence or absence of a partner of one gender or another.

"All right," you say, "I can see how a monogamous person could be bisexual. But could a monogamous bisexual ever be happy? Wouldn't giving up a whole gender create terrible discontent?"

I think such questions are not really about bisexuality, but about monogamy and gender. The questions are, can ANYONE be happy with monogamy? And how important is gender?

I know many who are happy with monogamy, including bisexuals. The key is, they don't seem to think of it in terms of what they're "giving up," but look instead at what they're choosing. We're not accustomed to thinking of monogamy as a choice, maybe because other choices are stigmatized or silenced. (Like choices to behave non-heterosexually are.) But people who make monogamy work are usually those who choose their partners knowing that other options ARE possible, if only the choice to be monogamous with someone else.

People may choose monogamy for many reasons: cultural programming, concerns about balancing partners, lack of time for multiple commitments, a need to ensure another's focus by focusing on them, or love for one person above all others. In any of those cases, even the last, one could feel one was "giving something up." And difficulty balancing commitments can involve conflicts among things besides romantic partners: think how common it is to hear someone complain that a partner is "married" to their career, or cares more about friends, or hobbies, or children.

So perhaps the idea that bisexual monogamy must entail special difficulties no other monogamous commitment does simply illustrates how seriously we take gender difference. We seem to feel that "giving up men for women" (really, "giving up" men AND women for ONE woman), or vice versa, is much harder than only "giving up" all blondes of one sex for a brunette, or all tall people for a short partner.

Personally, I think it's silly to believe that "giving up" only half the world to be heterosexually or homosexually monogamous is easier than giving up six billion people to be a monogamous bisexual. But I'm bisexual, and like many bi people, I seem to be wired differently about gender. I notice it, and it does make some difference to me, but evidently not what it does for others. My guess is that most monogamous bisexuals are even less likely than I would be to experience their gender choice as a "loss."

Besides, many people who might enjoy non-monogamy are capable of being monogamous for good cause, such as a partner's needs. As with any issue, knowing there is something to discuss and being able to discuss it are crucial. So those who can't believe in the possibility of monogamous commitment simply because of bisexuality are probably saying more about their own difficulty understanding or expressing their needs and concerns about monogamy than about bisexuals ourselves.

Bisexuals no more "can't help ourselves" than smoking marijuana leads instantly to heroin. True, some bisexuals can't set and honor boundaries, but most of us can, even if they are (sometimes, not always) different boundaries from those other people choose.

The fact is, some people who can't or won't pick a gender CAN pick a person. A monogamous bisexual who chooses a partner is saying: "Before you, the field was open to men and women. If you are ever gone, it might be open again. But now it is closed, because I have chosen you." Nothing terribly complicated about that, is there?

I also took the liberty to look up a couple terms:

These are according to answers.com

bisexual- a person who is sexually attracted to both sexes

Make a note that it doesn't say "can't live without having BOTH a boyfriend and a girlfriend" it just means when walking down the street, they notice and are attracted to people of both genders.

monogamy- the practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time

Make a note that it doesn't say "you can't have a super cool partner that wants to try a threesome"...hahaha, sorry, had to say that...

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anyway...back to slacking and not doing what I should be...