There's so much to talk about. Hmm, where to start...where to start. I think I'll list the topics and then correspond about them below.

1. Classes

2. James

3. Nick

4. Colin

5. Sarah

6. Rolla

Hmm....let's see....

Classes.

Classes started today. Trigonometry wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. 5 people are enrolled but only 4 were there counting me. The teacher is Korean and super quiet...she's hard to understand and I had to look up "theta" because I swear the woman was saying "sex-ha" Wow. I've been studying the stuff we went over almost all night. I really want to do good in that class. And ya know, I think I'm beginning to catch on already. As for Algebra, wow, blew me away. It was a review to see what we remembered and for once, I KNEW the stuff. I guess I actually learned factoring in Rolla. And now people actually WANT to work with me..just because I know these things. Maybe the class won't be bad afterall. I just hate all that group work.

James.

I still haven't talked to him since before Christmas. I worry about him so much sometimes. I do want to be friends and I feel really guilty for how I pushed him away. It's just, he was wanting me to think he was a jerk and well I was scared of his cancer and just...I dont know, it all got the better of me and I was an immature bitch. I'm so sorry, James. I wish we could be friends or at least you'd talk to me long enough for me to tell you how I feel. And yes, a part of me is jealous that you're with Carol again. But that's to be expected...I mean the whole situation between you being confused between her and I...well that's just a hell of a mess anyway.

Nick.

I still haven't talked to him. After Swirls told me that he had no idea Nick dumped me...I really gave it a lot of thought. I don't know when he lied to me...if it was the entire time we dated or when he dumped me. Either way, ultimately I'm hurt that he felt like he needed to lie. I just wish I knew how he was doing. I love and miss him so much.

Colin.

Colin's pissed me off again. So he knows I'm not ready for a relationship and he knows I doubt his objectives anyway and now sex is a friggin issue. The kid honestly thought he could get in my pants someday. That's the last thing I want ANYONE to think about me and it stung that he too is all about sex. Why can't I meet one guy that doesn't make sex an issue?

Sarah.

It's weird being back home. I know Sarah and I can never be as good of friends as we once more but I do miss her. Ya know? We're suppose to have lunch together tomorrow. Gosh, we have so much girl talk to catch up on ....but so much is different now. I just don't know.

Rolla.

I want to go there for my birthday to visit all my friends. But I just don't know if it's worth it anymore. I'd feel my sisters were seeing me from obligation and well, I dont feel right hangin around the AEPi guys. And I just don't know. But gosh, I should see everyone...especially since I'll be back in Fall. I just, I'm confused.

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Dearest Diary,

What should I do?