Sitting quietly...
it waits for me.
It knows my story
it knows my heart.
It knows I'll soon crack.
It knows the truth.
Does it scare you to think that death is so near?
That it's watching you?
That it knows your fears?
Does it scare you to think my times getting close?
That this time next year, I will not be here?
Do you shudder with the thought?
Or simply give a sigh?
That's how Roni is...
she's darker than the night.
This depression is eatting at her...
it's tearing up her insides.
When did I get here?
Where did this road start?
Is there a detour?
Can I ever get off this path?
When will this self destruction ever end?
I hate you and you hate me...
oh my, gee...we must be family.
Marriage is superficial,
family is just blood,
the ties that I've lost,
oh, what has begun?
The love has lost,
let the pain begin,
there's nothing left,
somehow this story must end.
Friends lost,
people leave,
family betrayed,
what does that leave?
This world is cold, oh so dark
walking alone is the dangerous part
your own worst enemy is with you always
walking beside you
crawling within you.
Should my child know the pain of this world?
Should it know how cruel things are?
Where will it turn when it's mommy is gone?
Where will it go when it learns love is fake?
that there is only pain
that there are just mistakes
Where will it go when it's mommy is gone?
When it learns that tears dry?
that there is no hope
that there is only a constant climb to death
Where will it go when it's mommy is gone?
will it feel lost?
will it cry out?
Where will it go when it's mommy is gone?
another child lost
another mother gone
Where will it go?
Where do you go when there's no place left?
No where to run
No where to hide
the people you trusted are so far away
only pain follows
the numbness
the stinging
you dont know what you feel
am I dead or is this real?
"pleading and needing
and bleeding and breeding
and feeding exceeding
where is everybody?
trying and lying
defying denying
crying and dying
where is everybody?"
The song echos in your head
The lyrics burn deep to your soul.
You know how this story will end...
but the date is still untold.
The story plot thickens
the end draws near
this world of pain
is full of fears
Where do you now go?
There's no place to hide.
All you wanted is to find a place to die
You wanted a hiding spot
A place safe from it all
but it's too late now,
it's watching you.
This pain is too deep
time can't erase
love is a lie
marriage is fake
happy is short
sex is a dream
nothing is real
nothing is real
everything was perfect
everything was fake
everything is now blurry
everything is gone
nothing is real
nothing is real
who's left for you?
what's left to do?
your time draws close
it's watching you.
Don't think of me
don't let me cross your mind.
Kill the memories.
Let me say goodbye.
There's few places left to check,
there's no where to hide,
nothing is real
is this goodbye?
It's watching
It's waiting
It's drawing so near
Oh blade of despair, take away my fear
It's getting closer.
It's following me.
I'm it's new target.
It's eyes are on me.
Coming closer.
I trip as I run
It's so close now
am I done?
---------------
"Where Is Everybody?" ~Nine Inch Nails
did you happen to catch
or did it happen so fast
what you thought would always last
has passed you by
is everything speeding up
or am I slowing down
just spinning around
and I don't know why
all the pieces don't fit
thought I didn't give a shit
I never wanted to be like you
but for all I aspire
I am really a liar
and I'm running out of things I can do
I'd like to stay
but every day
everything pushes me further away
if you couls show
help me to know
how it's supposed to be
where did it go?
pleading and
needing and
bleeding and
breeding and
feeding
exceeding
where is everybody?
trying and lying
defying denying
crying and dying
where is everybody?
well okay, enough,
you've had your fun
but come on thare has to be someone
that hasn't yet become
so numb and succumb
and god damn I am so tired of pretending
of wishing I was ending
when all I'm really doing is trying to hide
and keep it inside
and fill it with lies
open my eyes?
pleading and needing
and bleeding and breeding
and feeding exceeding
where is everybody?
trying and lying
defying denying
crying and dying
where is everybody?