It's sad when you have to turn on almost every light in your house to go to the bathroom because you have a fear that something or someone is lurking around the corner.

The fear in me is so intense that I want to scream. I want to hide. I want to never see him again.

But dont get me wrong. A friend once asked me if I'd kill Elisha if I had the chance. The answer is still "no". I may not like him..and I may not forget all the pain he has caused...but I dont want the man killed.

You may think I'm crazy or stupid. But he deserves to live. Who knows, maybe someday he'll change. Maybe he'll form a relationship with God and be made anew. Who knows?

Even though I dont want him killed...I still fear him. I'm still angry and upset at him.

I still feel like he's lurking around the corner sometimes.