I did it.
I hit the bottom again.
DAMN DAMN DAMN
I tried soooo hard to not let this nick thing bother me.
It just didn't sound like him.
That's not the Nicky I fell for.
I can't do this again.
It's...too much like before, only this time, worse.
Two Nine Inch Nails songs to show how I feel.
You figure them out.
You might remember them from part of the Josh depression.
Guess that Roni is back.
The one that needs dark and just left alone.
Maybe that's it.
I need to cut myself away from everyone again.
Dark can do you some good.
-----------------------
"Where Is Everybody?"

did you happen to catch
or did it happen so fast
what you thought would always last
has passed you by
is everything speeding up
or am I slowing down
just spinning around
and I don't know why
all the pieces don't fit
thought I really didn't give a shit
I never wanted to be like you
but for all I aspire
I am really a liar
and I'm running out of things I can do

I'd like to stay
but every day
everything pushes me further away
if you could show
help me to know
how it's supposed to be
where did it go?

pleading and
needing and
bleeding and
breeding and
feeding
exceeding
where is everybody?
trying and lying
defying denying
crying and dying
where is everybody?

well okay, enough,
you've had your fun
but come on there has to be someone
that hasn't yet become
so numb and succumb
and god damn I am so tired of pretending
of wishing I was ending
when all I'm really doing is trying to hide
and keep it inside
and fill it with lies
open my eyes?
maybe I wish I could try

pleading and needing
and bleeding and breeding
and feeding exceeding
where is everybody?
trying and lying
defying denying
crying and dying
where is everybody?
-------------------
"Hurt"

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feeling disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end

you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way