This could very well be the last entry I write in here.

Things aren't going so great.

Mom is pissed at me.

Most my friends ran away from here.

My plans of moving to Hannibal aren't going as smoothly as I had hoped.

I have cancer.

I have a baby in me.

I can't keep staying like this.

I'm fucking sick and tired of Quincy people calling daily and spreading shit about Josh.

I'm tired of it.

So tired, that...I suspended my cell phone.

It's gone.

There.

How do you like that?

Now no one can reach me now.

You don't have to worry about me or the baby.

I won't be posting about that again even if I did post.

Hell, I might just lock this thing in a few days. Seriously, if you want a password, let me know.

I also deleted some of my email addresses.

This journal has watched me change from moody bitch to moody, selfish, wanting to die bitch. It's been with me in ups and downs but now that I really need it, I can't.

Why? b/c fucking QU people read this and twist things.

Damned them.

I hate Quincy now.

In my first entry ever...I posted my favorite Langston Hughes poem.

I think since this could very well be my last post, I shall end with it, too:

"Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die,

Life is a broken-winged bird

that cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when they go,

Life is a barren field

frozen with snow."

~Langston Hughes

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I've lost my dreams.

I'm no long flying and my life IS barren and frozen.

I can't handle this place and I'm leaving this summer.

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be true to who you are...if your lucky enough for people to give you that chance

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I'm not. I don't have the chance to show people who I really am and for once, I think I know.

I'm sorry to everyone I've ever hurt.

I'm sorry for all the broken promises and intentions.

I'm sorry, so sorry.

I know my words mean nothing, but I'm going to show it.

I'm new now. I broke a new breaking point last night.

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But don't try to contact me.

You can't.

My cell phone is gone.

I don't answer the house phone.

I only answer emails to the msn account and even then, you'll just be lucky.

This journal is going to die and I'm going to let it.

Never undersestimate me though, if you truly know me, you'll know I probably have another diaryland journal somewhere. Good luck finding it though...what's the point?

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Goodbye readers.

Goodbye old friends.

Goodbye world.

This journal has to end.