"Suicide is not the way out"
"Death is not the answer"
"There's always another solution"
"I AM listening"
"What is really wrong?"
"Why don't you talk to me?"
"Stop it"
"You're so selfish."
"Think of the baby"
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Hmmm...or I come up with my OWN idea.
Find a song.
Memorize it.
Sing it over and over.
The song becomes you.
You become the song.
Misery kicks in.
You sing it in your sleep.
At least you were the one that put the thought there.
At least you were the one that understands why that song is there.
At least you listen to yourself.
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Don't yell at me.
Don't question me.
I don't have to answer to you.
I don't.
I won't.
I can't.
I ain't.
Maybe you just ask the wrong thing.
Maybe you jump to conclusions too fast.
Just because I'm about to post this song, doesn't mean you know the reason why.
If I get a visit from the cops, somebody is in trouble because that meant they jumped to conclusions and didn't talk to me.
No no, I'm not yelling at any certain person about the police incident because the more I analyze it, the more I realize Sheryl wasn't the only one to call. She couldn't have been.
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"Your entry was so pleasant about your day and the next, you had that song. What is going on with you?"
Hmmm...nope, wrong question. Nice try though. Try again in about a year or so.
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I'm busy.
I have a paper due on Weds.
I have a speech due...last week.
Who knows what else I have due?
I'm busy.
I'm blue.
I'm sick.
I really miss the bathroom having a floor.
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Sometimes I don't know if I'm alive. I don't feel anything. I'm beyond the point of numb.
Sure I can laugh once in a while...maybe even try to joke or smile...but when you were a clown for as long as I have been at my church, you get pretty damned good at masking your feelings.
----------
Maybe I should have went into acting. I don't know. I've been told I'm a "drama queen" when I talk. Heh. Beats me.
-----------
I don't care anymore.
Don't try to question me.
You won't understand.
You can't.
You don't want to.
-----------
I wasn't joking about today being the last time to see you, Josh.
Before you know it, you'll understand why.
------------
Now, don't jump to conclusions.
You'll be wrong.
You'll see.
You can't figure me out.
I'm not that easy.
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"Suicidal Dream" ~Silverchair
- Darkness in front of me,
- Looking out through a hole.
- Tripping, wondering,
- If we can see at all.
I dream about how it's going to end,
Approaching me quickly.
Leaving a life of fear,
I only want my mind to be clear.
People making fun of me,
For no reason but jealousy.
I fantasise about my death,
I'll kill myself from holding my breath,
My suicidal dream,
Voices telling me what to do.
My suicidal dream,
I'm sure you will get your's too.
Help me, comfort me,
Stop me from feeling what I'm feeling now.
The rope is here, now I'll find a use.
I'll kill myself, I'll put my head in a noose.
My suicidal dream,
Voices telling me what to do.
My suicidal dream,
I'm sure you will get your's too.
Dreamin' about my death, dream...
Suicidal, suicidal, suicidal dream