Josh,

Thank you so much for listening to me. I knew something was wrong and I'm so sorry that it took me so long to come to my senses. Nobody should be pinning this all on you and I'm sorry for all the cheater entries. I should have asked you first.

It's just that I was insecure and too conceited to see it. I thought I'd always have you...I didn't need to do anything. I was so conceited and so full of it that I failed to see how much I was hurting you.

I failed. I hurt you. I did some horrible things and I'm glad you care about me enough to talk to me.

I meant it, I'm giving you your space. I do think we can become friends. I'm glad you agreed. Deep down though, what I didn't say was that I want you back. I want to be with you. I know it's going to take time though. I know we need to rebuild the friendship factor. My love is always there though and I know that you still love me. Even when you are insecure or confused, I know that you care and you said you'd always love me. You don't break your promises to me.

I'm sorry for doubting you and thank you again so much for listening to me today. It meant the world.

It's going to be tempting to call you, but I want to prove that I can give you space and that I do care. I'm going to show you how sorry I am.

If in the meantime, if you date...I hope you are happy. Even though it kills me inside to ever conceive you with someone else. I took advantage of your love and you always being there. I will never fully forgive myself for almost losing you forever.

I know you don't read my journal, but this I pray...that you realize and know how much I feel the things I said in this entry.

Josh, I will always love you. More than that, you will always be my best friend. You taught me so much and you've been there. I'm sorry I wasnt there for you. Thank you for giving me this chance to prove to you that I'm sorry and that we can become friends again.

~Roni