Joshua,
Hey, honey. I just got off the phone with you. Look, there are some things I didn't say.
This was the last time I get to talk to you for a while...we already knew that. You couldn't talk long because you are at work. You can't talk tonight because you have a D&D game at Greg's...which, by the way, I HATE him for stealing you on your last night before QU. Tomorrow, QU. You leave and go away to college. That's right...my Joshua is going away to a university. Yes, I'm proud of you...but, it sucks.
I'm the reason you got mail from them.
I put you on the mailing list.
I sorta roped you into going there.
Then, I left you there.
I chose to go to MACC.
I left you behind.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate me for it.
I don't know now why I chose MACC. I left you behind. Maybe it's the right choice for my education, maybe it's a good thing...but for now, it's WRONG. It's sooo wrong. YOU're what's right. I need to be with YOU. I need YOU...not MACC. Sounds gay, right? I know, I know...YOU want me to get a good education, but for this second...right now, you're all I care about. You're all I can think of.
You.
YOU.
YOU.
I just want to be with you.
Right now, I don't know what's wrong.
I don't know what's right.
All I know is something is missing.
YOU are missing.
You left a hole in my soul.
An emptiness in my heart.
A limp to my spirit.
I need YOU.
I miss YOU.
Good luck at college.
Just...hurry home soon.
Home is where the heart is. You have mine and I have yours, so we're only truly home when we're together.
I'll do my best in college, I'll succeed. You do the same.
Do it for me.
I won't hear from you in a while...you didn't set up your phone service yet (and it takes a few days or so)...you don't have the internet nor a messenger yet...you haven't mailed me your mailing address.
For now, I'm in a hole.
I don't care who passes me...
because...I will stay here.
I'm waiting on YOU.
I'll wait for you.
Please keep waiting on me.
I love you.
I loved "the gomer" entry you wrote in here. Heck, I copied and converted it into my desktop.
I just want near you.
I love you.
I love you.
Joshua,
I LOVE YOU.