All right...so, I've been thinking...and, I don't remember much how it was before I was dating Josh. I mean...it hasn't even been 2 months yet and it seems like he was always there. Anyway, so I asked some of my friends if they think I've changed since I started dating Josh....these were the responses:

"You seem happier, but you're not talking to your friends as much as you did before"

"You don't worry as much. You don't analyze everything like before. I think he's good for you. You seem happy"

"You don't talk to me as much as you use to, but I understand. I'd be the same way if I had a guy."

"You seem to believe in yourself more. Your self-esteem has improved"

"You whine more, like when he's not around. Overall though, you seem like you're happy"

"I saw you smile. A real smile. Not the fake Roni one you show most people. That's always a good sign"

"You are like a total Bitch!! You never have enough time for anyone. Its like the whole world revolves around Josh! You need not to do that. One day you will break up and then were will all your friends be? The ones you choose to push a side just because Josh is going to call Or josh is going to come over. He is always the center of everything. But if you like it like that, that is fine, but it is your life and it is your senior year. Make the best of it!"

"You act different. I can't explain it, but you do. It's good though"

Ok, so those were the direct quotes. Hmmm...notice something? They all seem to think I don't spend much time with them, but all the time with him. I guess since he's out of town, I give him top priority a lot of the time since I can't just see him whenever I want.

I'm really glad they think I seem happier and that I don't worry as much. Why? Because that's how I feel and I'm glad it shows. As for the higher self-esteem? I don't know about that...Dad seems to knock me more. But hey, Josh tells me to ignore him....so....*shrug*, I guess I MIGHT be getting better.

Well, I AM happy.

I don't worry as much.

Things are good.

I am trying not to push my friends out...but, since he's out of town, if I know he's gonna call, I'm gonna try to be home to talk. I enjoy talking to him, I really do.

I'm sorry if my friends feel like I'm pushing them out. However, yes, it is senior year. I won't see most of them after this year anyway, so...it's like a trial seperation. Like I'm slowly getting use to them not being around all the time.

I'm almost 18. I'll be 18 tomorrow. I'm happy since I'm "almost there", yet, it's still like "wow".

Adulthood? Am I really ready? LOL