He knew how much I use to like him.
He knew how much he had meant to me.
He knew he was one of the first guys I had ever felt so strongly for.
He knew it...
He knew it...
He knew it...

Things had been great for us when I had went to school there. He seemed so great. He was so perfect (in terms of what I was looking for).

When he first talked to me, I felt so special. He had this gentleness to him, this perfection,...he had what I desired. He was what I longed for.

He was so sweet...he was so smart...he was so cute...he was so strong...he was so friendly...he was Josh.

Simply put...he was Josh.

He felt it too. I know he did. You could see it in his eyes, in his smile...hell, he even SAID it. He was so special to me.

Then he picks my bank to work at. MY BANK. Of all the banks, why mine? hmm?? I saw him today...I swear he recognized me, but he didn't act like it mattered. I was nothing. I was vapor.

Damn it Josh...that's not fair.

This has nothing to do with how much you meant to me. This has nothing to do with how much I longed for you. This has nothing to do with how much I wanted you. This has nothing to do with how I still feel for you. This is about YOU. How could you just act like I was nothing? How could you act like I was vapor? Hello? *waves* Do you NOT see me?

It's not that I wanted you to hug me like you use to. It's not that I wanted you to say how you still cared. It's not that I wanted you to want me. I just wanted to know that you still remembered. How could you forget all that? How could you forget us? How did it mean nothing to you?

You know what, don't answer. Really....don't. I don't want to know. It might hurt too much. Yes, I'm admitting that, it hurt. Happy now? Happy Josh? Are you? Geesh, what ever happened to little Joshie? What happened to you? What happened to us? Was I really nothing to you?

Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter now. I guess it never did since you could forget it so easily. I'm not going to let this get to me. I'm not going to get depressed. I'm not going to cry (even though that does sound tempting). I just wanted you to know that it did hurt. It hurt to see you. It hurt to hear you. It hurt...it hurt...it hurt.