Roni: Bertha? Bertha? I need you now.
Bertha: what is it? what�s up?
Roni: I�m sooooo scared about tomorrow.
Bertha: I know, I know
Roni: What am I going to do?
Bertha: If I knew, then I�d tell you.
Roni: I�m going to try to put my fear behind me for Samantha.
Bertha: That�s great, I knew you�d do the right thing.
Roni: yeah
Bertha: Have you told anyone about this besides
*I interrupt*
Roni: Don�t say his name.
Bertha: Ok, then�we�ll call him �mark�
Roni: why mark?
Bertha: why not?
Roni: dunno
Bertha: Have you told anyone besides �mark�?
Roni: like who?
Bertha: other friends
Roni: no
Bertha: well, what about your parents?
Roni: I tried
Bertha: tried? So did you or not?
Roni: Mom doesn�t care. She says it doesn�t matter how I feel that I�m going to go and tell all.
Bertha: What about your Dad?
Roni: he started to listen, but then started yelling because he decided he wanted to watch the news instead of help me.
Bertha: and you feel?
Roni: Like I�ve got a lump in my throat and I�m fighting tears.
Bertha: I know sweetie, let it out�.let it all out.
Roni: I can�t
Bertha: You can and You will, so why suffer? do it now
Roni: No, I want to go outside and catch butterflies�I want to forget it all. I want to think happy thoughts. I want fly away.
Bertha: Roni Ann!!!!! Stop it! Stop the act�LET IT OUT!
Roni: I can�t, I�m sorry
Bertha: I�m not giving up until you do�you MUST move past it, you must heal.
Roni: NO, I can�t face it�I can�t cope with it.
Bertha: You must or it will destroy you.
Roni: Maybe I want that
Bertha: no you don�t, when are you going to start being honest with yourself?
Roni: when I�m 80
Bertha: c�mon, tell me how you feel..tell me the truth
Roni: no
Bertha: YES
Roni: NO
Bertha: don�t be such a stubborn bitch, let it out!
Roni: I can�t
Bertha: you must
Roni: I�m too�.to�..
Bertha: too what?
Roni: scared
Bertha: I know, let it out
Roni: once I start, what if I can�t stop?
Bertha: then I�m here, I�m here
Roni: indeed you are
Bertha: Roni Ann??????
Roni: I hate him.
Bertha: who?
Roni: Elisha
Bertha: tell him
Roni: no
Bertha: if he died and you were letting it all out, what would you say?
Roni: oh no, don�t make me
Bertha: Do it
Roni: I hate him
Bertha: tell HIM
Roni: I hate you. I hate you Elisha. I try not to hate, but I really hate you.
Bertha: keep going
Roni: I want to know why. Why Me? Why did you fuckin� chose me? WHY? Did you have to fuck it up??? Did you? Wasn�t the abuse enough??? Aren�t these damn scars enough??? Guess not, no..you had to mentally scar me. You had to scar me in the worst possible way. I have so much trouble trusting guys now�my relationships sucked after that because I�m afraid to really try. Yes, I�m AFRAID!!! Happy now? happy you screwed with me? happy? huh? I don�t hear you??? Do you know much you did to me? Was it necessary to try to kill me? Did you have to do it? Did you have to always hide behind abuse? Did YOU? Did you have to embed this fear in me? Why? Fuck you�why me? WHY?
Bertha: you do realize you said fuck, right?
Roni: yes�now let me continue
Bertha: oh, ok
Roni: I hate you so much. I hate myself for hating. Hating is wrong. Guess what? I have to let this go, I have to move on. I can�t let you stop me Elisha. I can�t. Look at how much you�ve done. For crying out loud, I�m afraid to help my own niece because of your fuckin� ass! What if he gets pissed and comes after me like you did? What then? Why am I worried? YOU did this. You made me afraid. I�m afraid to help her because of a fear caused by You.. Damn you. Why did you have to do this to me? Why????
Bertha: Roni�
Roni: I went sooo long blaming myself. I didn�t make you do it. No matter what anyone smart ass says, it was YOUR decision. You did it. I have to face the fact that maybe, just maybe some people are truly evil. Maybe there really isn�t good in everyone. Maybe I�ve been thinking this for too long. Maybe I�ve lived a lie. NO, this is real. This is because of you. Just go away. Take all my fear with you. Jump off a cliff.
Bertha: Roni?
Bertha: Roni?
Roni: what?
Bertha: are you crying?
Roni: some
Bertha: need a hug?
Roni: yeah, just don�t know from who
Bertha: you did good Roni, you did good
Roni: I cussed
Bertha: you expressed your anger, that is when cussing is acceptable, this time anyway
Roni: am I bad?
Bertha: no
Roni: did I cause it? Was Elisha really to blame?
Bertha: you were innocent..he was a bastard
Roni: I�m not so afraid anymore
Bertha: good,..and you should release this more often
Roni: I�ll try, but that pretty well covered it
Bertha: Good luck tomorrow
Roni: thanks
Bertha: Remember�I�m there with you and I�m supporting you
Roni: I know
Bertha: I believe in you Roni
Roni: WHAT?
Bertha: I believe in you
Roni: all this time, you�ve believed in me?
Bertha: yes and it�s time you realized it�you believe in yourself
Roni: I do?
Bertha: I believe in you
Roni: I guess��I
Bertha: believe in yourself?
Roni: I believe�..oh my God�.
Bertha: Crying?
Roni: Like a baby
Bertha: say it
Roni: I believe in �
Bertha: c�mon Roni
Roni: I believe in myself, I really do
Bertha: crying harder?
Roni: yes
Bertha: good, and never forget I believe in you
Roni: I wont
Roni: I BELIEVE IN MYSELF My self war is over. I think I can move on. Thank you.
Bertha: it was in you all along�
Roni: yeah, guess you were
Bertha: yeah, use my side more often, quit drowning me out with fake perkiness
Roni: ok, deal