Tiffany Tolson........

DEAD!

Thousands of thoughts are running through my head.

when did I last see her?

what did I say?

Would I be remembered if I died today?

It's so scary to realize that my friend is dead;

so young she was,

so much life left unlived.

It must have been her time to go.

Will her memories go untold?

How will Amber cope with this?

A sister,

A friend,

A long loss bliss.

I can't help but wonder how she felt that day.

Did she feel any different?

Did she know in some way?

Did she have some regrets?

Some promises left unkept?

Did she have a moment before her life slipped?

A moment to ponder?

A moment to wish?

A moment for closure?

A moment of breath?

Did she feel her life going?

Did she feel her last breath?

Did her heart grow weary?

How did she face her death?

So many dreams she had,

so many empty memories,

So many things she'll never see,

so many people she'll never meet,

so many things left undone,

so many goodbyes left unsaid.

will she know that we miss her?

or will we even cross in her head?

Does she know she's the reason I stuck to my dream?

Does she know how much she influenced me?

Did she realize how much she encouraged me?

To be a psychologist,

A Christian Counselor,

A friend.

I am sorry Tiffany for all the things I didn't say.

I am sorry that your family is in such pain.

I know that I wasn't the best friend to you.

I know sometimes I was ashamed of you.

I'm sorry for being so selfish.

I'm sorry I never apologized.

I hope Andy feels bad.

I hope your memory fills his head.

I know that you liked him.

I know what you said.

I know he was mean to you,

yet he was MY friend.

I remember the days we worked together in the guidance office.

I remember how Dustin would bug the heck out of us.

I remember the day Andy and Jake walked in.

I remember the hurtful words that they said.

I remember looking at you,

and a smile you still had.

No matter what they said,

No matter how you felt,

You kept on smiling,

You didn't want my help.

I remember how you looked when I told Andy he was a prick,

and made him apologize,

made him think.

I remember your face when Jake asked for a hug.

I remember the day you told me how you felt.

How you called me a role model,

how you said I was a help.

You called me smart,

You called me nice,

You couldn't help wonder why I had friends in so many groups,

You couldn't help wonder why they didn't like you.

I'll remember you Tiffany.

My tears will dry.

I'll think of you,

and I'll let a joyful sigh.

Someday in heaven,

I'll see you again.

And I know you'll be smiling

and you'll forgive me for my unspoken words.

Until that day comes,

may you rest in peace.

Tiffany Tolson

someday we will meet.