I've posted too much today...when all I really wanna do is SCREAM!!!!

There's a lot more bothering me than just that rant from the other day. Maybe I'm a failure. Maybe I just can't handle my Dad anymore. Maybe I need some direction with my life....or maybe, just maybe, I want a boyfriend and I won't ever admit that.

I don't know. I really don't. But something is wrong...

Am I just scared about going to see my cardiologist on Tuesday?

Am I scared because I think my PCOS is acting up?

Am I upset that my ducks are growing up?

Or that my cat had a litter of kittens and we think they all died?

WHAT IS WRONG?

I have this overwhelmingly amount of stuff going on in my head and when someone actually CARES to listen...I push them away. Wow, classical Roni move. Havent done that in a while...heh....

Maybe I just need to delete all the randomness from my life...starting with the random yahoo guys. Or maybe I just need to talk to someone for hours and hours and hours and hours. Or maybe I need someone to hold me. Or maybe I just need to get away from it all.

I really don't know...but I feel like I'm changing. Maybe it's because I've finally decided that I think I should be a veterinarian. I have the passion for animals...and I'm pretty sure I have the brains for it. Why did I not run with this idea when I first got it when I was like...8? Bah, who knows....

But I do know...Steve, I hope what we talked about...I hope you're right. That would at least make me feel better and start adding hope... but now that I've said that, get your ass back to Missouri! hehe...

Welp I'm outtie (wow did I say that?)....more pics of my duckies comin' soon :)