Yesterday made 3 weeks with Warren. Heh, impressed yet? LOL

So yes, this journal is locked. No more unexpected readers. Good job, Warren.

Anyway, I was miserable most the day today.

Warren had me confess earlier how I feel or lack thereof of Josh...this turned into a rather interesting time where I just poured out my thoughts.

But then, for the rest of the day...I felt horrible. How could I feel that way about Josh still?

So I did something I swore I wasn't going to do anymore. Dug out the knife...dug out the lighter...and attempted to burn/cut it away.

Did it work?

Well...after taking Nick's advice and tying a sock around my cut...It finally stopped bleeding.

I had cut about 2 or 3 inches above my ankle.

The rest of the night I pretty well beat myself up for it. Wasn't I passed this stage?

Warren would be sooo upset.

But Nick decided to give me an ultimatum. Either HIM or the knife. Yep...he made me choose between our friendship and my cutting.

I picked him.

Wish me luck.

I also talked to Andrew today. That was interesting. He's such a good friend to Warren. I trust his opinion...heh, looks like Warren's stuck keeping me ;)

Anyway, there's really not much to say. You get the general idea of my day.

Warren, I did think of something. You said you count a month as every 4 weeks...but I don't. To me, it wont be a month until August 1st. But you count the 29th. So...we need to discuss this...

Anyway, I remember being asked once...how to tell if someone loves you. Tricky question, isnt it? But today I remembered this song.

Warren...see if I match this description:

When A Woman Loves A Man Lyrics

When the stars are in her eyes
And the sun is in her smile
The only moment in a life
That happens the same time
Is when a woman loves a man

She'll be a mother and a child
Sacrifice her days and nights
And no other will exsist
She'll put her life in every kiss
When a woman loves a man

And you'll be amazed at when you're stumbling
She'll fight for you
And won't let you give in
She'll do all that she can
When a woman loves a man

A soothing breeze always blows
Somebody understands another soul
It's like the planets have aligned
Every sentence has a rhyme
When a woman loves a man

Oh, you'll be amazed how when
You're needing it
She'll fight for you
From the begining to the end
And she'll do all that she can
When a woman loves a man

It's the greatest gift of all
Knowing tht unconditionally
She'll catch you when you fall

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oooohh, yeah
When a woman loves a man

When the stars are in her eyes
And the sun is in her smile
She'll be a mother and a child
But all at the same time
When a woman loves a man

She'll be your air,
She'll bring you life
She'll make me sacrifice
When a woman loves a man

~Westlife

==================

I don't know how long it'll take to heal all my wounds over Josh.

I do know this...

"Not all scars show, not all wounds heal...you can't always see the pain someone feels."

But Warren makes me happier than I've been in a long time.

"Cut to bleed. Cut to feel"

I can't cut anymore or I lose Nick. Worse, what if it upset Warren and I lost him? I could never do that.

===============

I do love you, Warren. Even if it is soon. You've corrupted me somehow.

----

But Josh, quit being the thorn in my head. It's ok to go on now. I'm fine. Warren's with me.