You see, the truth of the matter is�dying seems like the only option because it�s the only thing I can hear about. If the baby dies, I have a 90% chance of dying, too. It�s because of an infection that often occurs from a miscarriage. If the baby lives, I have a 60% chance of dying during giving birth to it. I don�t want my child not to know me. Here�s the other thing�yeah, I don�t have cancer. Not full blown. I�m in the earliest stages. The truth is, if I don�t have this baby, I may not ever be able to have another. To top that off, I could have to lose my female organs over this. Cancer scares me. On top of it, I do have the earliest stages of PCOS. I�ve been hiding all these fears. I�m weak. I can barely do anything anymore. I have to stay in bed constantly. I�m tired of it. I feel like I�m not living for anything anymore. I wanted to tell you so bad, but I didn�t think you�d really want to know. Or yet, what if you didn�t understand and didn�t ask? I�m so scared and just want someone to talk to. Please, please, talk to me about this before it eats me alive. For when it comes down to it, I�d rather die by my own hand than by cancer. Please don�t make me go through this alone. If you�re really a friend and really care, please, please, let�s put our differences aside for a moment. Let�s talk without arguing. Let�s really talk. I need you as a friend right now and I need to tell you how I�m feeling. I don�t want to commit suicide, but if it�s my only option�then so be it. You can help me. You know me and you know just about everything there is to know about me. I need your support. I need you as a friend. Now is when I need you.