I don't want to lose Josh. I'm so scared that if I don't change my stupid ways then, I will. I bitch at him. He thinks I give him dirty looks. He thinks I'm mad at him all the time. I'm not. I'm really not. I wish I could prove that to him. I wish my "looks" didn't matter. I wish he could see in my heart and see how I really feel.

I love him...with all my heart. I don't want to hurt him. It KILLS me when he's sad or hurt.

I want to be his comfort.

I want to be his strength.

I want to be who he runs to.

I want him to see that I love him.

I want to be with him forever.

Please, PLEASE don't give up on me Josh. I'm working on it.

I love you, with all my heart.

I hope you read this tomorrow. I know you'll get a grin. Yes, it's "cutezers."

I love you, someone help me change.

The 2nd annual "New Roni Day" is on the 16th, maybe I can make things better as of then.

I love you Josh.