Selfish

In the sense that there are millions of thoughts I have been having...millions of ideas...millions of feelings...and I have not written any of them down.

I don't want to let anyone into my world.

My world.

If I let you in, will you change it?

Notice how I never walked you through my thoughts of Quincy University like I did for Truman? Did you even know I went to Quincy? I went on Saturday.

Notice how I haven't really mentioned Bill? Josh's best friend?

Notice how I haven't mentioned Travis? Who came over to Josh's on Saturday to meet me?

Notice how I haven't mentioned Neil? Or how he reminds me of Tim? (Have I mentioned Tim?) Or how his house is sorta...um...yeah? Or how about what I think of what Michelle did to Neil? (Was that her name?)

Notice how I don't mention Philip is with one "L" and not two? Or how the Valentine made him happy?

Notice I say nothing about Philip's friend, Josh M.?

Notice how I don't mention how things are going with me and Josh?

Notice how I don't mention how it's been 3 months for us?

Notice how I don't mention fears of pregnancy?

Do you notice anything?

Hello?

Hello?

Do you even see me?

Guess not.

But it's ok...I'm happy.

I'm happy in my world without you.

I'm happy with how things are.

I'm HAPPY.

I won't let you take it away.